Defining your self worth by how cheerful you feel, how nice you are, how brightly you shine will contribute to a lack of self acceptance and can set you up for suffering. No one can be happy and bright 100% of the time. There will be times of disappointment, tragedy and heart break. The human experience allows for every polarity and you can maintain your self worth no matter how bright or dim your light might shine from one moment to the next. Your self worth ought not be defined by the limitations of the ego, but rather by the expansion of your heart, for the capacity to accept, forgive and love yourself unconditionally regardless of how you feel.
Why would you allow the brightness of your light or the depths of your pain define your worthiness? If a friend defined his or her own worthiness based on these facets, would you not immediately jump to his or her defense? Both are coming from the ego rather than from humility. This type of self sabotage is an unfortunate occurrence because during the moments when you feel your light is waning is when your self worth or self love is most important. This is a time to be gentle and kind to yourself, not harsh or judgmental. Your value is not dependent on you being happy, nice and bright 100% of the time any more than your worthiness is dependent upon your mood or your feelings. Everyone has hard times and feels anger and grief and has room for growth; that is perfectly normal. Loving yourself during such times is perhaps the most important time to be your own ally. The world has enough critics out there; everyone needs a cheerleader within.
In those moments when you find yourself being critical on yourself for not handling a situation better or being friendlier, kinder or responding more considerately, remember your nature is to do the best you can; that is who you are. If you could do better, you would. Life provides you with the training ground to be the best version of yourself. Every opportunity helps you evolve. Every time you judge yourself, you undermine the growth that is taking place. The fact that you recognize you would like to do better or shine brighter is a catalyst for growth. Your self worth ought to include all aspects of who you are while living life on life’s terms. Who is to say your judgement is accurate anyhow? Perhaps your mood or your behavior is motivation for change for someone else? Who is to say that you should do better, perhaps you have done it perfectly? Forgive yourself for your perceived shortcomings. Be gentle with yourself when you are not feeling like your light is brilliant. During such times, take a moment -put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath in and repeat aloud:
“It is safe for me to love, accept and honor myself
when I feel my light is dim and I am not shining bright enough.
I am worthy of being loved just the way I am.”
Take another deep breath in. Repeat aloud:
“I love you. I forgive you.
All is as it should be, as am I.
“I am enough.”
Take another deep breath and release. Surrender into the support of the Earth beneath your feet.